I am an angel
with a broken wing.
I am an angel
who cannot sing.
I am an angel
with feet of clay.
I am an angel
who has lost her way.
Will you still keep me
as your angel anyway?
Please?
All About The Thrills & Spills Of Mess In My Little Life read more »
Just when you think it’s going to be a good start to a better year, things can simply blow up in your face.
Some years ago, I heard about how this clueless friend of mine who popped an entire egg into the microwave oven to cook. Sh fogot to crack it open apparently. It made a mighty explosive mess – bang, sizzle and all! Needless to say, that poor stewardess girl got a rude fright and shock.
Right now, I’m feeling pretty much like her because putting trust in the wrong person can make your heart blow up in your face in the most unexpected moments. Moments where you think you are sharing intimate secrets. Moments when you think ‘I am so glad this person is in my life’.
There in these moments Life must choose to explode that radioactive egg in your face.
I thought that after more than a decade of friendship, I could trust that person, let’s call him/her S. But as life proves, I’m wrong.
So wrong.
In the most innocent of conversations, by some Freudian slip of tongue, I found out that S did something I never thought s/he would. But s/he did.
Years, and I mean YEARS!, of friendship, of intimacy, of thinking I knew this person somehow became shaken by the revelation.
First, there was Disbelief.
Hot on its heels was Shock.
As Shock settled, her dust cloud of fine needles began to envelope my mind, slowly engulfing my heart with Hurt and asphyxiating my soul with Disappointment.
How can anyone, anyone past the age of 30 claim ‘they made me do it’ is beyond me.Or rather, I do not accept that as a reasonable explanation of behavior. Is it really impossible and socially improper for a full-grown adult to say ‘No! I do not wish to do that.’? Grow a backbone!
I just feel like screaming: Spare me all that crap about ‘I’m not the perpetrator but the victim’. Do I look like Lolita?
Unbreak my heart. Please.
On a side-note, I was thinking of renaming my blog to something less ‘messy’ but obviously as this latest incident proves, I am quite a magnet for mess.
I’m just right now envisioning myself as a steel magnolia. Treat me nice and I’ll give you my best. Try to crush me and you’ll bleed.
Mess-O-Meter: It’s an earth-shaking 10! Can it get any worse?
Check back for updates.
Having left the folly of teenhood behind me, and having survived a quarter-life crisis, I no longer make new year resolutions just so I can shamefacedly admit at the end of that year that I’ve failed to keep any. Life’s hard enough; why make it harder?
I do now however like to practise what I call ‘hope-setting’ instead. It’s similar to goal-setting but different. Hope-setting is something more of prayer-ful, spiritual version of goal-setting.It’s like bringing my inner, secret hopes to God and asking Him to help me achieve them.
If I do ever make it to church for the last service of the year, it would be an exceptional time for me. And I do like starting the New Year quietly and reflectively and being in a watchnight service is an extra boon for me.
A friend , Kimberly Creasman, started this annual event of doing ‘Resolutions & Reflections’ that has since become somewhat of a mesh between an actual meet-up and virtual FB affair. While I don’t fancy the ‘resolution’ term- bit, I still think it’s an awesome and meaningful event . I especially like how Kim has this Looking Back and Looking Ahead distinction.I think it is very appropriate to reflect on the past year in order to look forward to the new one since life happens on a continuum.
I have never made it to an actual meet-up, or accomplished the reflection list of prompts she posts. Nonetheless, I think it’s a very meaningful thing to do and I shall be endeavoring to work through her list for this year-end/beginning.
So this is why I’m re-posting her lists and sharing it with you. Hope some of you find it useful.
(You can read what Kim herself has written on Resolutions and Reflections here on her blog)
Step 1: LOOKING BACK
…This year I learned to..
I grew most in…
A Scripture verse, passage or book that was important to me was…
One of my best adventures was…
I saw/knew God was doing something when…
A real gift from God was…
Something I really enjoyed doing more of was…
One of the happiest memories I’d like to freeze in my mind…
I was really brave when…
I’m still trying to learn what God wants to teach me through this hard experience…
…But I think perhaps, it’s:
The best word of advice or encouragement I can remember:
Something I’m looking forward to in this new year…
STEP #2 LOOKING AHEAD
Brainstorming Resolutions
NOTE: Phrase these as “do-able” not just “wishes” that are out of your control, but something you can do to grow or improve. Breaking it down into small steps you need to take to accomplish it. If you decide YES! Let’s do it, then put the first step toward it – with a date in the planner w…ill also help! If we share these with each other, perhaps we have some in common!
iphone has an app called “Getting Dreams Done” in the free version there are already the following categories.
Financial/Professional
Health/Physical
Personal Development/Intellectual
Spirituality
Relationships
Adventure Risk (This category you can add yourself to Getting Dreams)
In case I forgot to mention it earlier, we’re moving back home to Sunny Singapore in about 2 weeks. When it’s finally time to say ‘goodbye’ to Macau, I feel pangs of sadness. Why did I not enjoy my time here while I could have? What I miss most is perhaps the proximity to Zhuhai and Hong Kong, both shopping paradises. Oh, and my dear friends in Macau will be sorely, sorely, sorely missed.
I have often ranted about the inconveniences and insularity of this tiny place. It’s not a country. It’s not a city. Why! I don’t even quite know how to classify this former Portuguese colony comprised of 3 small land plots of no more than 27 square kilometres.
I used to complain about how this casino-dominated place had little by way of natural attractions and kid-friendly places to go. I used to worry about turning into a frog-in-a-well just by living here.
But now that I am leaving, I realize just how much I’m going to miss this place. The convenience of just playdates a lift-ride away. The ease of cabbing to wherever I want on this island without feeling a great big pinch in my pocket. The affordability of eating yummy restaurant food (though of course I cannot possibly dine at such places daily, but at least it costs much less than if I were to eat at a similar quality place in Singapore). The much lower costs of living here in Macau is one that have enabled us to enjoy aspects of life we wouldn’t have otherwise be able to afford if we were back in Singapore. For one, my spacious condo apartment here with its great clubhouse and playground facilities and an on-site spa is something I know I will not be able to get again back in Singapore. Just think 1.6 square feet of living space at approx. HKD 8,ooo (SG$1,300), how to find that in ever skyrocketing SG? So why did I lament about this place feeling like it is still stuck in a time-warp circa the 70s?
This post should really be renamed – Count and Enjoy your blessings while it lasts.
With life you never know what you’re going to get the next day. So why not make the full use of the Moment and find the best of it in EACH minute?
That living in the present, seeing the glass as half-full rather than half-empty is something I super suck at. And now, moving home to Singapore makes me realize how much I need to practise positivity.
That said, I’m going home to a Singapore that is constantly evolving and getting more people-dense by the second. The pace in Singapore waits for no man, let alone a mother trying to get on the bus to the market with two young kids in tow. I’ve got no home of my own to return to owing to problems retrieving my apartment from my also hard-pressed tenants. Having to squeeze my family of four into my childhood room with my own family makes me wonder just how people in the past survived with the entire family of 8 or more living and eating in a room smaller than mine.
For me, I’m like the lab rat they run crowding tests on. I get highly edgy and stressed and totally unpleasant and prone to aggressive (read: impatient, snarly and whiny) behaviour. So really, I hope my little darlings won’t bear the brunt of my bad behaviour.
I’m going to have to posts reminders all around me that say: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS WHILE THEY LAST so that I remember that before I complain about feeling all cramped at my parents’ place, I will give thanks and appreciate the following before I lose them(again):
- Help of my parents 24/7
- Little need for me to touch household chores and cooking
Life will never be perfect, never. But I think I at least ought to work at perfecting my attitude.
Like they say, it’s a person’s attitude that determines her altitude.
So here I stand at the door of the New Year with this big move the first on my calendar of events. As I’m also in my milestone year of being 33, I’m eager to flap my wings to fly, fly, fly….and I hope, I get to soar!
Even if I fall flat on my face trying, well, at least I will be saved some heartache with a positive attitude that there’s always something to be learned and thankful for in that.
Note: I wrote this when I actually turned 33 last month but it’s been on the backburner since. But it’s only now that I get to actually finish it and post it.
There! I did it. I announced my age. It’s probably no big secret since they say you can tell a woman’s age by the lines on her neck, the skin on her hands and the age spots on her cheeks. By all three counts, I am probably considered very aged, older than my chronological age.
33. I’m so glad I’m in my 30s now. I know I shall never be one to long for the days of youthful sweetness because those years of teenhood and the 20s were really tumultuous for me. It’s feeling really good to be in my 30s, and being in better control of myself in the face of Life.
Today (make that almost 5 weeks ago) marks the beginning of another year in which new possibilities and opportunities. As a child, my birthdays were always celebrated by my parents. It was only when I hit my late teens and started to rebel against many-a-family-tradition that we stopped celebrating birthdays much. Only when I approached my late 20s, and my wild heart and fiery spirit began to settle that I truly understood and appreciated the effort of my parents to make my birthdays special.
Now as a mother, I know I shall need to create memorable occasions, family rituals and traditions for my two boys and husband so that they always have something fond to recall of our family times. I must admit that I really have been appalling at making big dos over Little Messtro’s recent 2nd birthday, and Baby Messtro’s Manyue (First month celebrations that Chinese attach great importance to).
In the last two weeks leading up to today, I have been haunted by this memory of a conversation with a friend from my past. I was then about 27 or 28 and he was turning 33. For some reason, our late night coffeeshop chat had turned to the issue of him growing a year older. With much passion and thrill in his voice, he said, ” I’m actually very excited about turning 33. You know, Jesus started his ministry at 33. So there must be something special about that age, and I’m eager to discover what it is for me.”
Since then, I know that friend of mine has gone on to achieve much. He was recently awarded Tourism Entrepreneur of The Year by Singapore Tourism Board, and has gotten much of his dream he had then in living reality. A singer-songwriter, Corrinne May, also penned and performed a lovely song about turning 33. So is there something really special about this age?
Perhaps, there is. I’m not sure if it only holds true for artistes like my friend or Corrinne May, but I hope not.
However, as I examine the events of my past year, I do notice some changes in perspectives that have crept up on me – slowly but certainly. The most significant of which must be about how I am feeling about motherhood.
For those who have been with me since I begun my motherhood journey will know, I have always been oscillating between total fervor and total restlessness in my role as a stay-home mom. Every three months or less, I would have this itch to ’do something meaningful’ like work professionally. But in these last 5 months, the desire for work has faded more than I realize. In the past, whenever I manage to wrestle down my discontent about staying home and learn to focus on my domestic duties, some new and enticing opportunities would present themselves. The latest temptations included a part-time teacher training job in HK and a full-time drama teaching position in an international school in Taiwan. It was all very ego-affirming for me to have received both offers, and to know that after almost 4 years of not working I could still possess market value on the job scene.
However, the prospect of having to work full-time forced me to confront my own values toward mothering again. Could I really bear the reality of leaving both my children to the care of another person – stranger or family? Is work the better, if not only, creative outlet I could have that would give me greater satisfaction in life? What did I really want out of my life?
Ah! Such profound life questions. I don’t even know why I’m constantly embroiled in such intense, introspective battles.
Nonetheless, the very minute I consented to being interviewed for the full-time position, I began to be plagued by these questions so much so that I lost sleep. Finally, I came to the conclusion that I really could not bear to work full-time again, at least for the next 5 years. Perhaps there is some inertia on my part and reluctance to return to the workforce. But I cannot deny the call of my home, and my children, that presses on my conscience. How I can be so old-fashioned about these things beats me.
Now as I turn 33, it is my hope and desire to grow into a better wife, and mother. Specifically, I would like to be:
- A more competent mistress of my domestic domain. Being a better cook and more diligent housekeeper included.
- A gentler gardener of souls, sensitive to the even the most secret desires and pains of my charges.
- A more creative and patient mother-mistress in the apprenticeship of my sons in the School of Life.
- A more cool, calm and collected woman who doesn’t fly off the handle when Life just doesn’t happen my way.
But wait, before you dismiss me as yet another clucky, dummy mummy, I’ve got more. As I turn 33, I do long for certain personal dreams to come to past. One of which is to see my love of literature, writing and storytelling and children come to complete union in the form of original stories. I am still searching for the elusive novel story that the world wants to read about. (My husband says to just write and keep writing.But yes, first I’ve got to be disciplined in setting aside time. And you know me – discipline and me have it tough.)
Certainly, simple virtues like perseverance, patience, discipline and gentleness are really what I need and ought to practice on a a daily basis. Perhaps, I shall make them my daily motto.
And this post marks a good start I guess because it is with Perseverance and Diligence that I finally post this after 5 weeks! 
Never mind that it is at the expense of household chores left undone.
My next task should be to set down the goals and mark out a game plan to achieve these for the coming 2011. Meanwhile, here is me – the natural Madame of Mess – leaving you for now to pursue a better balanced life in my little messy but wholesome (mostly) and lovely (sometimes not) realm.
By the way, if you are now 33 or have lived through this year, perhaps you could share your thoughts on being 33. Is/Was this a milestone year for you? Inspire me, please!
Hello Wonderful People!
Sorry I haven’t been updating my blog much since last month. Here’s a little summary of what I’ve been up to:
1. Turned 33 mid-November!
2. Moved to Macau with the baby and toddler (for a teeny while)
3. Learnt that we’re relocating back to Singapore come January 2010
4. Struck by urticaria (hives) again! This lasted close to 5 weeks.
5. Went to Disneyland, H.K. finally for my last fling with H.K. before I head back to Singapore.
6. Catching up with all my lovely friends in Macau before we leave.
7. Trying to get things organised for the relocation ( and being distracted and failing miserably)
8. Doing up a whole bunch of blog posts that’s been on ‘Draft’ since….forever! Oops!
I cannot believe it’s almost the end of another year!
Oh dear, my baby’s crying…and I’ve got to run. I really have to find a way to juggle a toddler, a baby, housework, cooking, cleaning and personal hygiene matters much better.
Have a wonderful season of celebrating life and love, and welcoming yet another year of unknown adventures!
Mmmmmmuaks!
Treasury Of 100 Storybook Classiscs (16 DVDs)
Mama Watches (& Reads): Treasury of 100 Storybook Classics
About The Collection:
So alright, this is NOT a book per se but it is a set of animated videos based on some of the best in contemporary and classic children’s literature. For literary purists who believe that television is the anathema of reading, this might just about sway your convictions, especially if you’re a parent like me who is sometimes (rather, often) pressed for a constructive engagement for your child on long-drawn days.
Mama’s Review:
I think this is a great set for investment and for keeps! What I love about this series is that every animated feature is based on an actual children book which means that you can always reinforce the watching with the reading or vice-versa. For reluctant readers who have been weaned on a telly diet, this is a great springboard into books too. Many of the stories are also award winners – either for story content or illustrations – so you can be rest assured that your child is getting exposure to great literature and art.
Animated features of children classics like Harold and the Purple Crayon, Millions of Cats may seem somewhat outdated in terms of style and presentation from what we’re used to in contemporary children programming. But I was pleased to see that LM enjoyed them nonetheless. The set also features some celebrity narrators like Meryl Streep and Sarah Jessica Parker.
We haven’t quite finished viewing every disc and story yet but I already know that this has been one of my better investments thus far. It’ll not just be LM or BM with their faves but also me, the BIG kid, with mine!
More About The Series
Publisher:Scholastic
Where to find it: http://www.amazon.com/Treasury-Storybook-Classics-Scholastic-Treasures/dp/B002PTBSE6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1288767331&sr=8-1
I bought mine from the Singapore Motherhood Forum Bulk Purchase thread for SGD $99.90. A bargain in my opinion because that works out to just $6.20 per DVD, $0.99 per story.
Complete Alphabetical Title Listing of Stories Found In Set
Taken from amazon.com
Alligators All Around
The Amazing Bone
Angus and the Ducks
Angus Lost
Apt. 3
Arnie the Doughnut
The Beast of Monsieur Racine
Blueberries for Sal
Cat & Canary
The Caterpillar and the Polliwog
Chicka Chicka 1,2,3
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
Chicken Little
Chicken Soup with Rice
Chrysanthemum
Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type
The Cow Who Fell in the Canal
Curious George Rides a Bike
Danny and the Dinosaur
Diary of a Spider
Dinosaur Bones
Dot the Fire Dog
Drummer Hoff
The Elves and the Shoemaker
Emilys First 100 Days of School
Five Chinese Brothers
Five Creatures
The Foolish Frog
Fourteen Rats and a Rat-Catcher
Frog Goes to Dinner
The Great White Man-Eating Shark
Harold and the Purple Crayon
Harolds Fairy Tale
Harry the Dirty Dog
Here Comes the Cat
Hondo & Fabian
Hot Hippo
How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food?
How Do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon?
How Do Dinosaurs Say Good Night?
How Much is a Million?
I Stink!
I Want a Dog!
I, Crocodile
If You Made a Million
In the Night Kitchen
Inch by Inch
The Island of the Skog
Lets Give Kitty a Bath!
A Letter to Amy
Lon Po Po
Make Way for Ducklings
Maxs Words
Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel
Millions of Cats
Moon Man
Mouse Around
The Mysterious Tadpole
No Roses for Harry
Norman the Doorman
Officer Buckle and Gloria
One Was Johnny
Owen
Pet Show!
Peters Chair
Petes a Pizza
A Picture for Harolds Room
Pierre
Princess Furball
Rapunzel
The Remarkable Riderless Runaway Tricycle
Roberto the Insect Architect
The Snowy Day
Stanley and the Dinosaurs
Stars! Stars! Stars!
The Stonecutter
A Story A Story
The Story About Ping
The Story of the Dancing Frog
Strega Nona
The Swineherd
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble
T is for Terrible
The Talking Eggs
Teeny-Tiny and the Witch-Woman
Time of Wonder
The Three Billy Goats Gruff
Trashy TownThe Trip
The Ugly Duckling
Waiting for Wings
Wallaces Lists
A Weekend with Wendell!
Whats Under My Bed?
Where the Wild Things are
Whistle for Willie
Why Mosquitoes Buzz in Peoples Ears
Wild About Books
Wings: A Tale of Two Chickens
The Wizard
Spanish Versions of:
Click, Clack, Moo: Cows that Type
Curious George Rides a Bike
Danny and the Dinosaur
Harry the Dirty Dog
How Do Dinosaurs Say Good Night?
Make Way for Ducklings
Moon Man
Owen
Strega Nona
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble
The Caterpillar and the Polliwog
The Snowy Day
Where the Wild Things Are
Whistle for Willie
Why Mosquitoes Buzz in Peoples Ears
And:
Where the Wild Things Are (French)
Interview with Maurice Sendak
Mama Reads: My Garden by Kevin Henkes
Story Synopsis:
A little girl tends to her fantastical garden where flowers change colours, delectable chocolate bunnies and jelly beans are ripe for picking amongst other amazing things.
Mama’s Review:
Book-hunting at the library for reads to share with my son did not deter me from picking up this book though at first glance, it may seem too girly for a boy. The cover is graced by a smiling girl surrounded by flowers. The pastel neon colours (if there’s such a thing! but I just cannot find the right word to describe the colour scheme) of the illustrations just appealed to the girl in me. I picked it up despite having doubts of my son gravitating towards it, but library visits cannot just be about his books can it?
However, I was soon proved wrong as LM showed a keen interest in the book – both as a listener and an active ‘looker’. The prose is simple yet engaging and captivating. Henkes’ illustrations also do much to invite interest. It made me want to dream up my own garden of wonders.
LM has been enjoying the book to himself at the meal table and in his own quiet reading times. Yesterday, he took a fancy to the seashell garden in the book and went about the house hunting for seashells. It’s curious just how he picks up on something that I the adult wasn’t too interested in.
I taught him how to listen to the sound of the sea in the shells by putting one close to his ear. So now, he brings along his plastic box of seashells and invites us to listen. ‘Shhh…shhhh…shhh..,’ he whispers as he holds a shell to his ear.
Mama’s Verdict: 5 out of 5 stars
There must be something magical and good about a book that can make both mother and child want to sit down together over and over again to read.
More About The Book
Author: Kevin Henkes (author of some of my other faves, Chrsyanthemum and Lily’s Purple Plastic Purse. visit www.kevinhenkes.com)
Where to find it: At NLB, JP (Junior Picture book section), English JP HEN
Browse inside the book here
Complete book details here
For more ideas on working this story with your child, read on.
Creative Reading Extension Ideas
Creative Language
- Pretend to work in a garden – raking, planting, watering, harvesting and eating the fruit of your ‘harvest’ by having a picnic. LM may be 2 y.o. but he loves this imaginary play!
- A garden-related rhyme:
Mary, Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in row.
Nature
- Perfect book for starting on a theme on gardens, flowers, plants
- Go for a walk in a garden and talk about what grows there
- Start a little home gardening project. Even something simple like a sweet potato plant or green beans.
It’s all true what they say about the second baby getting LESS photographs. I’m so guilty of this. Hardly snapped pics of Baby since his birth. His hospitalisation and frequent doctor trips for blood tests did make me feel less enthused, but that’s no excuse I know. I shall henceforth endeavour to do better.
Meanwhile, for all you curious folks, here is a glimpse of my two precious peaches.
My Little and Big Bundles of Joy
I wrote this weeks ago but have yet to finish it till now. BLEAH! This is my possibly 5th attempt at trying to do so.
Anyway, here’s my update about how my relatching attempts went.
Well, I’m pleased to report that after the first marathon session the subsequent sessions got less intimidating for the both of us and by the third day, I managed to move to direct latching all day. However, that does not mean I did not give in to the temptation of giving the bottle because truth be told, after I managed to latch successfully, I realised what I did NOT miss about breastfeeding. I mean, I literally smelt like stale milk as I fought valiantly to latch him despite him putting up many a hearty fights. Being sticky and stinky with spilled milk dousing my floor and drenching my top doesn’t do much to boost my postpartum yummy mummy image. Oh well!
With my retraining a success, I’m also glad that I now have a month-old baby who’s able to do both bottle and breast. This means a great deal to my ability to run free! Okay, not as if I get to ‘break loose’ from my motherly duties but it does mean that I’ve managed to go out for hours these past three days with my hubby and firstborn and have fun shopping, dining and exploring places.
Since I have gotten some emails and questions from mummies of newborn babies trying to latch their babies and reduce dependency on the bottle, I thought I would consolidate some of the helpful things my lactation consultant and friend taught me which worked. But please note that these are highly personal, and you may find that they do not work for you or your baby.
Retraining Tips:
1. First step to success – The desire to succeed at nursing, no matter the cost. ( Let me warn you though that the cost of succeeding at nursing can really be VERY high and may include hours of frustration and tears and the feeling that you might want to breakdown soon. For me, I certainly spent a large part of the first 3 days wondering if it was worth all the stress amidst his angry, hungry cries and me feeling entirely sticky and stinky and a slobbery mess with milk dripping all over.)
2. If you need to use a bottle, try to use NUK with their latex teats. The shape of the teats seem to cause less nipple confusion to the baby.
3. Don’t be intimidated by the tears and screams of your hungry baby when trying to latch. This is VERY difficult to do, and may even seem impossible. Try to remain calm and relaxed even while you are sweating with stress and feeling like your nipple will never get in or stay in your hungry baby’s mouth.
4. Have things around you that will make you feel relaxed and comfortable when you try to nurse. This can be music you enjoy, a comfy cushion or favorite chair.
5. Try to remember that nursing is more than just feeding the baby or you being the delivery channel for his food, it is also about enjoying the intimacy, sharing love and providing a sense of security to the baby. If the baby’s not comfortable in your arms, nursing becomes even harder. Get him into a comfortable position where his cries are momentarily hushed before you attempt latching. The best position I’ve ended up with is the cross cradle hold. The football and lying down positions do not work for us, yet.
My Reflections…
The 1st Day:
After my friend left, I had to face the subsequent nursing sessions alone. Sweaty and stressed by BM’s incessant cries, there were so many times I wanted to scream, cry and shout ‘I surrender! Here’s your bottle!’ – I did all three. I gave the bottle for one night feed because I was just too tired to want to fight the battle.
I even thought to myself, ‘What’s the point of me getting so upset by not being to latch him that I am unable to enjoy being with him during a feeding session? If I’m going to be less stressed when I bottle feed him expressed breast milk, and better able to be nice to him, it may be better for me to bottle feed him.’ Even my hubby agreed.
However, I also wanted to be able to provide him the same nursing experience as my firstborn. The nagging thought of having to cart bottles and ice packs and breast pumps when going out also made me stick to my course. When I took LM on his first flight at 7 weeks old and first holiday at 3 months old, it was a breeze travelling because all I needed was my boob and nursing shawl for his food supply. I really want to go HK Disneyland for Christmas this year…so I pressed on with trying to latch.
Day 2 and 3
BM is getting the hang of latching and his suckling powers are steadily strengthening. I also became more relaxed during each nursing session and began to enjoy having him drink from me. However, finding time and energy to pump milk became a challenge. I think I stopped expressing milk by Day 3. I did wonder if my milk supply was affected.
It was no fun trying to field questions from my parents about whether he was getting enough to drink. I tried my best to block out their questions so as to not cause myself additional worries about latching.
However, his poo colour had changed from the usual mustard yellow cream to green! I googled online and found out from www.kellymom.com that it possibly meant that he was taking in too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk. In simple terms, he wasn’t latching on long enough to drain out the fatty hindmilk. The foremilk had a lot more lactose that may cause increased gassiness and greeny poo if the baby doesn’t drink in enough hindmilk to balance out this lactose. Plus, it means the baby gets hungrier faster. Hmm… so I tried to keep him on the boob as long as 15 mins. This guy was either a fast drinker or getting frustrated with my letdown ( not sure if it was too fast or too slow or perhaps, insufficient milk?), he gulped and was just about done in 10 minutes.
Day 4 – 5
I began to try expressing milk again. First For some reason, BM seems to be sleeping better in the day but waking up very often between 12 – 5am. It seems as though he wakes every hour or so for milk! I cannot figure this out.
Fast Forward to 3 Weeks Later…
I give a bottle or two for the night feeds like 9+pm and midnight so I can sleep. He also takes the bottle when I need to be out running an errand and he stays home. So that’s the brilliance of having ‘suffered’ 3 weeks of battling breastfeeding blues and relatching issues – he now can do both! HIP HIP HOORAY to a glimmer of more freedom for me!
Latching has become second nature to the both of us which unfortunately means that I being the hopeless clockwatcher, sometimes mindlessly pull out my boob and push him onto it without thinking and it turns out that he needs a diaper change instead.
Now, I’ve got another challenge that I would like to tackle with this baby – sleeping! Ah! Sleep – the sweet word all of us mummies must crave and lust for often. I admit I’m hopeless at routines, schedules and being organised in general (I’m Madame Messtro, remember?). No rocking, nursing or giving other props to assist sleeping? Baby should start sleeping longer through the night? This may be my second baby… but I feel like I’m a new mummy all over again.
Oh yeah! I managed to finish this longdrawn nursing update. Gotta run along now to do some business before the little one wakes.
